Failure in learning !

Very often, I face a reality: my students’ “fear” of failing a test, an instructor training session, an exercise, etc. Generally, we often have the impression that learning means succeeding on the first try, never making mistakes, and mastering everything perfectly. Yet, reality is quite different. Whether you are a student, a professional, or an athlete, mistakes are inevitable. And yet, they are exactly what drives progress. In fact, that’s what happened to me while writing this article! A bug, a network cut — I had to rewrite it three times…

Failure is often seen as a sign of incompetence or lack of ability. It can be unsettling, frightening, and even make someone lose self-confidence. In our society, failure is still poorly perceived, whether at school, at work, or even within some families. It is often associated with something negative, sometimes with shame or punishment. Yet, when we truly examine how we learn and progress, we realize that failure is not only normal, it is essential, no matter the learning domain.

To understand what failure can bring, we need to change the way we view learning. Instead of thinking that everything should succeed on the first try, we need to accept that learning progresses step by step, through trial and error, through adjustments. Far from being an accident or something “that shouldn’t happen,” failure is actually part of the learning process — it fuels it, guides it, and sometimes even holds the key to it.

This analysis aims to explore in depth the different aspects of failure and how it affects our thinking, emotions, social relationships, and our way of understanding the world. The main idea is that failure is not just an unpleasant moment to avoid. Failure is an important element that shapes the learner and has a lasting influence on how they learn, fostering reflection and growth.

In learning, the ego and mistakes play opposite roles. The ego seeks to protect our self-image: it wants to be right, avoid errors, and show competence. Yet learning requires the opposite: accepting mistakes, analyzing them, and improving from them. When the ego is too strong, errors are perceived as threats, which blocks progress and limits risk-taking. But when we manage to set the ego aside, mistakes become useful information, markers to adjust strategies and move forward. In short, effective learning requires calming the ego to acknowledge mistakes without shame and use them as a driver of progress.

Ego: the invisible obstacle

The ego is that inner voice telling us, “You have to be perfect.” It is often the main obstacle to success. It wants everything to be flawless, every result to meet our expectations and those of others. When the ego dominates, we fear mistakes, avoid taking risks, and constantly compare ourselves to others. The result? We stagnate, paralyzed by the fear of failure.

But learning works in the exact opposite way. It progresses through mistakes, failed attempts, and constant adjustments. And this is where the ego can become your worst enemy… or your best ally if you learn to tame it.

Mistakes: the fuel of progress

Mistakes are not final failures. They are valuable information for your brain. Every time you err, you have the opportunity to adjust your strategies, understand what doesn’t work, and move forward. Without mistakes, there is no correction, no progress, no real improvement.

This is what we call iterative mistakes: each failed attempt is a step toward mastery. And the sooner we accept these mistakes as tools, the faster and more effectively we learn.

Learning to accept mistakes

Federer gives us a universal lesson: learning means accepting that you will make mistakes. Perfection doesn’t exist. Focusing on each error and letting the ego overwhelm you prevents progress. But if we accept that mistakes are part of the game, analyze what went wrong, and move on to the next point, we transform each failure into a tool for advancement.

In everyday life, whether at school, at work, or in sports, this mindset changes everything. Instead of dwelling on mistakes, we can use them to improve, take more risks, test new approaches, and develop resilience.

Federer: the champion who mastered failure

If anyone knows how to turn failure into strength, it’s Roger Federer. In an interview, he explains:

“In tennis, perfection is impossible. Out of the 1,526 singles matches I’ve played in my career, I won nearly 80% of them. What percentage of points do you think I won in those matches? Only 54%. Even the highest-ranked players win barely more than half the points they play. When you lose one point out of two, on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. You learn to think: okay, I double-faulted. It’s just one point. Okay, I came to the net and got passed again. It’s just one point. Even a great shot, a backhand smash that makes ESPN highlights, it’s just one point.The top players aren’t the best because they win every point. They are the best because they know they will lose again and again and have learned to deal with it. You accept it. You cry if you have to, then you force yourself to smile.”

These words are powerful. Even a champion of this level loses nearly half the points he plays. And yet, he is at the top of the tennis world. Why? Because he knows how to manage failure, set aside his ego, and keep moving forward. Every lost point is not a disaster: it is information, learning, and a step toward improvement.

The secret of the best: ego under control, mistakes under control

The best in any field aren’t those who avoid mistakes. They are those who know how to manage them, analyze them, and transform them into progress. They set their ego aside, take a step back, and keep moving forward. As Federer says, cry if you need to, then smile and focus on the next point.

If you truly want to progress, stop seeking perfection. Accept mistakes as natural steps in learning. Every error is an opportunity; every failure is a step forward. The ego can slow you down… or motivate you if you learn to control it.

Conclusion: play the match of your life

Ego and mistakes are opposing forces in learning. The ego wants to protect you from failure, but mistakes are what make you grow. Learn to balance them: listen to your mistakes, don’t let your ego stop you, and keep moving forward. And remember Federer’s words: even champions lose, but they turn each lost point into a lesson to become better.

So it’s your turn: dare to make mistakes, dare to learn, and let your ego follow the rhythm.